


Begin Again

by Camphalfgalra



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Healing Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, post-s8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camphalfgalra/pseuds/Camphalfgalra
Summary: When Keith lets it slip that he loved a person and simultaneously lost them, Lance is determined to find out who it is. Keith refuses to tell him who it is until the time is right, and it takes a long time for Lance to realize just why he makes that decision.





	Begin Again

The first time Lance realized that he was starting to like Keith was on, starry night, a year after ending the war. 

The stars were shining above him brightly, the moon in full view as he sat in a field of juniberry flowers. He stared upwards into the night sky, letting out a small sigh. There was no one in sight, just him and his thoughts. Oh, and Kaltenecker too. Everyone was either asleep or scattered about the universe doing their own things, and it truly made him feel like he was alone.

It had been like this since Allura had left him, more than a year ago. There wasn’t a day when he wouldn’t think of her, the woman who he had fallen in love with. It wasn’t healthy, and everyone worried, but he insisted that he was fine.

He was not, in fact, fine.

“Just you and me, huh girl?”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Came a teasing voice behind him.

Lance let out a yelp as he jumped up, quickly whirling his head around. “Don’t–Hey, Keith!”

Keith smiled. “Nice to see you too, Lance. Glad to see that you’ve actually shaved since the last time I visited,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Haha, very funny. We all know that you just wanted me to shave it off because I pull it off way better than you,” Lance said with a teasing grin. 

“Whatever lets you sleep easier at night,” Keith replied with a roll of his eyes. “It made you look strangely old.”

“Oh, so like Shiro but without the glasses?”

Keith snorted. “Basically, yeah.”

They both chuckled, Keith smiling fondly at Lance as the other male grinned back at him.

“So how have your missions been going? I heard that you’ve been doing pretty badly on them.”

“Shoot, you got me,” Keith said in mock woe. “I failed all of them. I also died, but of course they leave out the important parts. Such a tragedy.”

Lance smiled. “But seriously, how’ve you been? I sure hope you’ve been better than me.”

Keith shrugged, looking out at the moon. “My missions with the Blade of Marmora have been going fine. Although, my mom and Kolivan say that I’m overworking myself and that I should take a break.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re here?”

“No Lance. I’m here because I’m being forced to stay here against my will,” Keith deadpanned. 

Lance blinked slowly. “Is that supposed to be sarcastic or….?”

“I’m joking,” Keith said with an exasperated grin. “I just wanted to check up on you and I don’t know, spend some time together I guess. Maybe visit the others for a while, I don’t know. You’re good with that kind of stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” Lance asked with a raised brow.

“The fun stuff,” Keith smiled. “You’re the guy who always has ideas when I don’t. It’s why the Red Lion chose you as my right hand man, you know.”

“Really? I thought it was because he realized that I was a totally amazing pilot,” Lance said with a grin.

“That part too.”

Lance chuckled. “Well, I don’t have much that I do here. While you’re all off doing some important stuff, I’m tending to my juniberry farm.”

“Speaking of that,” Keith said, his smile slipping, “are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I have everything I need,” Lance said with a small scoff. “I have my cow, my family, my flowers...yeah, I have everything I need! Everything I need…”

Keith frowned sadly. “You miss her, don’t you?”

Lance lowered his gaze, staring the juniberry in his hand. “It’s pathetic, right? It’s been more than a year, and I still feel like crying everytime I remember that she gave herself up for our happiness….my happiness. She was my happiness, though.”

“It’s not pathetic,” Keith said softly, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “You have a right to mourn. You lost the person you loved, and that’s something that anybody gets over easily. But that doesn’t mean that you have to isolate yourself from everyone.”

“I’m not isolating myself,” Lance said defensively. “I just….like personal space, you know? A guy deserves to be a lone wolf every now and then. I mean, just look at you! You were a lone wolf for a long time, but you turned out fine.”

“Lance, we all want to help you, but we can’t do it when you’re constantly pulling away from us,” Keith frowned. “If there’s anything I learned from my time being apart from all of you a few years back, it’s that being alone with your thoughts isn’t good for you. You can mourn, but don’t let it be your only driving force. You deserve happiness, Lance, true happiness.”

“My happiness is gone. She left me with memories, and it just majorly sucks. You don’t know how it’s like to lose someone you love, Keith.”

A pained look crossed Keith’s features. “Actually, I do. I know how it is to lose someone you love because it happened to me, and it keeps happening over and over. I don’t want you to have to go through the same struggle as me.”

“I just miss her, so much,” Lance choked out, tears pooling at the sides of his eyes. “I know that she wouldn’t want me to wallow in sadness all the time, but I’m scared that if I move on, I’ll forget her. I don’t want to forget her, Keith.”

“You can move on without forgetting her,” Keith said softly. “She’s always going to be with you, even if she’s not physically here. You’re allowed to move on, and no matter how long it takes, I– we’ll all be here with you.”

Lance smiled fondly at him, his eyes softening. “Do you really mean that?”

“It’s like you said before,” Keith said with a smile, “we’re space ranger partners. I can’t leave you behind while I go forward. I need you by my side, my right hand man.”

“Like old times, huh?”

“Like old times, yet slightly different,” Keith replied, squeezing Lance’s shoulder. “Allura would be proud of you for moving forward.”

“Yeah,” Lance said, wiping the corners of his eyes with the cuff of his jacket. “So uh...what now?”

“Now? I think I just want to spend my time off catching up with all of you,” Keith said, tugging on the cuff of his jacket, “but more importantly, I just want to catch up with you. I was starting to miss your stupid comments.”

“You? Missing me? Wow,” Lance chuckled, “I wouldn’t peg you as the kind of guy to miss me. Maybe Hunk, but not you.”

“I don’t hate you, you know,” Keith said, avoiding looking at Lance. “I actually find you to be a genuinely nice guy.”

“Woah, where’s the real Keith and what have you done with him?” Lance asked teasingly, sitting back down in the field of juniberries. 

“I’m serious,” Keith said exasperatedly, taking a seat right next to him. “You might not realize it, but you’re an amazing person.”

“Woah,” Lance said, “why are you so sappy?”

“It just….it hurts me seeing you think that just because the girl you loved is gone, your life is over. You’re acting like you’re worthless just because she’s gone, but if she chose you, it’s because she saw the same worth in you that I did. You’re amazing just the way you are, Lance. Don’t let anyone change that.”

Lance sighed softly. “Thanks, Keith. You know, when you want to, you can actually be a pretty decent guy.”

“I try.”

The two sat in silence for what seemed like forever until Lance cleared his throat, glancing awkwardly at Keith from the corner of his eyes. Keith raised a brow, turning around to face the other male in confusion.

“What is it?”

“You said that you knew what it felt like to lose someone you love. Who was it?” He asked curiously. “Was it your dad?”

“Nah,” Keith said, tucking his knees under his chin, “it’s not him. I loved him, but he’s not who I was referring to.”

“Well are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it out from you?” 

A ghost of a smile appeared on Keith’s face. “It’s not the right time for me to say. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“You’re so boring,” Lance complained. “Come on, Keith! I thought we bonded!”

“Don’t remember, didn’t happen,” Keith said coyly. “Besides, I’m serious when I say that it’s not the right time yet.”

Lance huffed indignantly. “You know I’m not going to stop bugging you until you tell me, right?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * *

The second time he realized that he might like Keith was two years after the war, standing in the same spot with him.

“Do you miss piloting the lions?” Lance asked out of the blue.

“Sometimes,” Keith admitted. “I don’t miss the stress of having to defend planets from the Galra, though. They’ve really turned over a new leaf, you know.”

“And it’s all thanks to you,” Lance smiled. “You’ve been leading them down the right path since the war ended. The universe has you to thank for restoring the peace.”

“All of us worked hard to make that happen, not just me,” Keith said dismissively. “Sure, I work with the Galra, but we each play a unique role in helping restore balance to the universe. Even you with your juniberry flowers.”

“Am I supposed to be offended?”

Keith laughed. “No, don’t be. I’m joking. In all seriousness, you’ve helped a lot too. You’ve kept Allura’s memory alive, and it has inspired a lot of people to give up their hatred against the Galra. It makes things a lot more easier for, well, everyone.”

“It still hurts a bit talking about her, but I’m glad to know I could help,” Lance replied, smiling fondly at Keith, before catching himself and looking away, his cheeks tinted with just a bit of red.

“You know, everytime I come here, I find it really hard to leave,” Keith sighs. “It’s more peaceful than handling the remains of the Galra Empire.”

“It’s been two years, and you still complain about it like you did when you first began helping,” Lance laughed. “Classic Keith. Imagine how much harder it would be if you were the Galra emperor!”

“I don’t even want to imagine it,” Keith replied with a grimace. “I need time to myself every once in a while. Being emperor would just make me age as quickly as Shiro.”

Lance chuckled. “We can’t have that now, can we? A grumpy Keith is not good for the universe.”

Keith smiled. “Guess not.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, Keith gazing out at the moon while Lance watched him out of the corners of his eyes.

“It’s been a while since I’ve felt this calm,” Keith said quietly. “It’s strange.”

Lance propped his head on his knuckles, sighing. “Yeah. Hey, remember when you told me that you’d tell me who you loved one day?”

“Today is still not that day,” Keith said with a small smile.

“What the hell, man?! One year and it’s still not enough time?”

“Nope. You’ll know when it’s time,” Keith said while glancing at him out of the corners of his eyes.

“At this rate I’ll die before I ever figure that out,” Lance huffed.

Keith chuckled. “Not that long, either. Soon. You’ll know soon enough.”

All Lance could do was groan and look away, a foreign feeling tugging at his heartstrings as he heard Keith laugh from beside him.  


* * *

The third time Lance realized he might be falling for Keith was when they were at a reunion back on earth, with everybody present and squeezed together at the Holt residence.

The music was loud, people either dancing or mingling about, having a good time. Lance, however, was not. Instead, he was cast towards the side, taking a sip out of his cup as he watched everyone have fun.

“Lance?”

The mentioned boy looked up, his frown turning into a small smile as he spotted Keith hovering over him. “Hey, mullet.”

“Why aren’t you out there having fun? Everyone has been asking about you, you know. You’re kinda the hot topic of the night.”

“Really? I thought they’d focus more on Veronica and Acxa’s whole dating thing,” Lance said dryly, “but me? Why me?”

“Well, you love parties,” Keith frowned. “If there’s anything I know, it’s that the Lance I know loves to dance to music every chance he gets. He also loves to mingle and flirt with every person that has two legs. What’s wrong?”

Lance shrugged. “Ah, nothing. I’m just thinking about stuff, I guess.”

“Allura?”

Lance smiled softly. “Strangely, no. It’s not about her anymore. I think...I think that I’m falling in love again.”

Keith’s brows shot up, his eyes widening slightly. “Oh, wow, okay. Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said, stretching his legs out in front of him, “I just know that I don’t feel empty inside when I look at this person. They make me laugh and just...I don’t know. I just feel happy, but confused at the same time.”

“That’s great,” Keith said, his eyes still wide. “You’re finally starting to move on from Allura.”

“I guess so,” Lance said quietly. 

“Lance?”

“It’s just...I feel guilty about just forgetting her like that. I loved her, Keith, and falling for someone else...it just makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

“Hey,” Keith said softly, taking a seat next to Lance on the cooler he was sitting on, “you aren’t doing anything wrong. We talked about this, remember? You’re allowed to move on, even if you still love her. That feeling will always be there, but allowing yourself to find happiness isn’t something bad.”

“It feels like it is,” Lance mumbled.

“It’ll feel like that for a while, but you’ll get there someday,” Keith said, smiling at Lance. “I’m curious, though. Who is this mystery person who you think you’re falling in love with?”

Lance chuckled. “Can’t tell you that. I want to be sure about it before I tell you. Besides, you never told me who you loved. Consider this payback for that.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Fine. Don’t tell me then.”

“Aw man, that was supposed to end with you revealing your mystery person!” Lance pouted.

“Consider your attempt failed,” Keith laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “It’s still not the right time.”

“It’s been two years! I really do think that I’m going to die before you tell me,” Lance grunted frustratedly. 

Keith smiled. “Nah. I think you’ll know soon enough.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “And I think you’re full of baloney!”

Keith threw his head back and laughed loudly, his eyes squeezing shut while he held on tightly to his drink. Lance only watched in awe as Keith shook with pure laughter, the sound melodical and sweet to his ears. The loud thumping in his chest grew, and that was the moment he knew that he was a goner for Keith.

* * *

The fourth time Lance realized that he was falling for Keith was four years after the war ended, when he found Keith standing in his kitchen, desperately trying to shut the security alarm off.

“Oh come on you quiznaking piece of crap! Shut up!”

Lance cracked a grin, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed across his chest. “Well well well, what do we have here?”

Keith jumped, whirling around to face Lance with wide eyes. “Oh, hey Lance! I was just uh, passing by on a mission and I thought that maybe uh…”

“Oh please,” Lance chuckled, “you and I both know that this is your break month. Miss me that much that you had to come back?”

“It is tradition,” Keith reminded him, scowling as the alarm continued ringing. “Oh come on!”

“Relax, mullet. It’ll shut off by itself in like, two minutes.”

“Oh great.”

Lance let out a wheeze of laughter. “Why are you sneaking around, anyways? Were you planning to kill me in my sleep or something?”

“No,” Keith said, “I was going to try and bring you some of the food that Hunk sent with me, but your stupid alarm tripped itself.”

“You tripped the alarm, you mean.”

“No, it tripped itself,” Keith said stubbornly.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Keith. Hey, we could take the food outside if you really want to eat so badly.”

“I was actually just going to drop it off,” Keith explained, pulling his bag off his back and putting it on the kitchen counter. “I kinda wanted to visit Coran and Romelle, check up on how they’re doing.”

“Oh,” Lance said disappointedly. He looked around curiously, narrowing his eyes and he slid up towards Keith side. “Do you have a thing for Romelle?”

Keith let out a loud snort, grinning as he looked at Lance out of the corner of his eye. “No. I just wanted to check up on them since I haven’t seen them in a long time. Missions make me miss everyone a lot more than I should.”

“Do you miss me too?”

“Well, yeah,” Keith said with a confused smile. “You are one of my closest friends, after all.”

“Right, friend,” Lance mumbled, tugging on the bottom of his jacket. 

“Before I leave though, how have you been?” Keith asked, leaning against the counter. “You haven’t sent me as many messages as you used to. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lance said dismissively. “I’ve just been busy preparing for the Allura celebration.”

Keith frowned. “Are you okay with that? I know how much you still care about her.”

“I’m fine,” Lance smiled. “Actually, I’m better than fine. I think that I’m finally moving on, and it doesn’t feel wrong anymore. It feels like...like I’m finally coming up for water after being down under for too long. Does that make any sense?”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with mystery person, would it?” Keith asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Maybe,” Lance grinned. “I’ll tell you if you tell me about your–”

“Yeah, no,” Keith said with a small smile. “You’ll find out–”

“Soon, yeah yeah, I know,” Lance grumbled. “You are a cruel, cruel person, Keith. I’ve waited four years to know and you’ve never told me!”

“I need to be sure of a few things before I can tell you,” Keith said, his eyes softening. “The day is closer than it seems, though. You’ll probably know before the end of next year.”

“Cruel, i tell you. Absolutely cruel.”

Keith just laughed, and Lance smiled like an idiot, his eyes softening and his insides all warm. God, he really was falling in love with Keith. He just hoped that Keith would feel the same way if he could ever muster the courage to tell him how he felt.

* * *

The first time Lance told Keith that he loved him, it was five years after the war was over. 

The duo was sitting on the roof of the Holt residence, ignoring everyone down below who was partying and having a blast. It was to be expected, though. It wasn’t everyday that Shiro got engaged. Everyone was congratulating him and his now fiancé, except for Keith and Lance, who were stargazing and reminiscing about old times.

“And remember that one time we got stuck in that one game show thing with that freaky little alien?”

Keith chuckled. “How could I forget? You practically almost got cooked alive and didn’t realize it because you thought you were exfoliating.”

“In my defense, my skin felt like the bottom of a baby’s butt when we got out,” Lance huffed.

“How? It was literally a dream,” Keith said in confusion.

“You’re really questioning that when you literally fought a war with aliens and turned out to be part alien? Keith, anything can happen in deep space. I’ve learned to just embrace it.”

Keith grinned. “You got me there. Remember that one time Allura let us go to the space mall and we ended up getting chased by the cops?”

“How could I forget? I had a huge bruise on my forehead for like, a week! Plus, Pidge and I got that pretty cool video game that I ended up stealing–er, using.”

“Allura was really confused when we came back with a cow,” Keith laughed. “She didn’t even know what it was until Hunk explained how cows work.”

“Yeah,” Lance chuckled. “She really loved milkshakes.”

Keith was quiet for a moment before speaking up again, looking at Lance directly in the eyes.

“Do you still love her?”

Lance blinked slowly before his lips curled into a small smile. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her.”

“Ah.”

“But now?” Lance sighed softly. “Now, I feel free. I can look back on the memories I made with her without crying anymore. I’ve fallen in love again, too.”

Keith raised a brow. “Really? Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to wait another three years to find out?”

Lance hummed. “Depends. Are you going to tell me who you loved?”

“That depends on whether or not you’re ready to hear it,” Keith said with a small smile.

“Oh believe me, I’ve been ready since five years ago.”

Keith shook his head. “No, you haven’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance asked suspiciously.

“It was you,” Keith said suddenly, casting his gaze away from Lance. “You were the person who I loved and lost at the same time.”

“What?” Lance asked in quiet disbelief.

Keith took a sip of his drink, staring out at the moon. “I’ve loved you since we were forced to become co-leaders, when you became my right hand man. You stood by my side, and you helped me when I was being reckless and just plain out stupid. When I left for the Blades, I still loved you, and when I came back, I still loved you.”

“You...did?”

“Yeah,” Keith sighed softly, “and I lost you when I left, too. You fell for Allura, and all I could do was cheer you on, because you seemed to be so happy with her. I didn’t want to ruin your happiness, because you deserved all of it. When Allura sacrificed herself and you didn’t act like your normal lovable goofy self, I lost you to the darkness of your lost love for Allura. But even through that, I still loved you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lance asked quietly. 

“Because I didn’t want to make you feel like you needed to immediately reciprocate my feelings just to make me feel better, or to put any pressure on you. You were hurting, and I wasn’t going to hurt you even more by dumping my baggage on you. You needed time to heal, and you weren’t going to be able to do that if I just told you everything.”

“But I...you loved me?” Lance echoed in disbelief. “Why? You...I thought you didn’t even like me as a friend!”

“I loved you because you were you,” Keith said, his eyes meeting Lance’s. “You were Lance, the paladin of the Red Lion, the one who fought hard and was the glue that kept us together through hard times. You always knew what to say, and I just fell in love with every part of you.”

“Loved,” Lance repeated. “You said loved, as in past tense. What about now? Do you still love me?”

Keith smiled softly. “I’ve never stopped loving you, even when you were with Allura, and especially during these past five years.”

“Keith,” Lance said, his voice dry, “you...you love me?”

“Always. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I just wanted to get that off my chest now that I know that you’re finally finding closure. I don’t expect you to love me back, but I–”

“I love you,” Lance blurted out, his hands trembling in his lap. “I love you, Keith.”

“...What?”

“I always liked you as a person. You were a person I trusted, the one I knew who could cheer me up when things went downhill. You were always there, supporting me, and I just….these past five years let me heal, but they also let me fall in love again.”

“With me?” Keith asked in pure disbelief. 

“Yeah,” Lance smiled softly, “with you. You’ve always checked up on me, and there’s just something about you that makes me feel happy again. I realized that I was falling for you when you comforted me and told me it was okay to hurt, and I knew I loved you when you kept coming back every time you had time off to visit me last year. You were always there, supporting me and helping me. You helped me heal, and I just….fell for you.”

Keith smiled warmly at him. “Really?”

“Really,” Lance said, reaching out to grab Keith’s hand. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You never have to thank me for anything,” Keith said, squeezing his hand tightly. 

“Thank you for loving me and waiting until the right moment,” Lance said softly. “Thank you for being in my life and supporting me, even when you get annoyed with me. Thank you for everything, Keith. Just….thank you so much.”

“I love you, Lance.”

“I love you too,” Lance said with a warm smile before leaning in and pressing their lips together, holding Keith’s hands in his own. Keith relaxed into the kiss, taking a hand out of Lance’s grasp and holding it up to his cheek.

When they finally pulled apart, they smiled widely at each other, holding hands once more. Lance grinned as an idea formed in his head, his eyes getting a devious glint in them. Keith smirked, nodding down at the people in the patio, as if he could read Lance’s mind. When the Cuban boy nodded, he grinned widely before helping Lance get up, the two racing across the roof before climbing down the hatch and running towards the door that would lead to the patio.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Keith asked.

“Yes. I want the whole world to know that I love you.”

Keith smiled warmly at him before nodding and giving his hand a firm squeeze, the two proceeding to walk towards the door. Lance took a deep breath before pushing it open, tightening his grip on Keith’s hand. 

They walked out, hand in hand, smiling at those who stopped chatting to stare at them in shock. As soon as the initial shock was over, the cheering began, followed by Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro tackling the duo in a hug.

“Finally!” Pidge cheered, wiping a tear from her eye. “I’ve been waiting since forever!”

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Hunk sniffled, his lips trembling as he smiled at Keith and Lance.

Keith turned to look at Shiro, who was beaming with a proud smile etched onto his features. That was all it took for Keith to burst out laughing, turning around to face Lance’s smiling face with an excited grin.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They kissed again, and this time, it felt like Lance could finally breathe again. It was like coming up for oxygen after being trapped underwater for too long, the feeling of Keith’s lips pressed against his so right. It was what he had dreamt of since he had fallen for Keith, and it truly felt like he was in heaven after being through the tortures of hell for far too long. 

He was finally home.

**Author's Note:**

> Klance is canon at the end and in love thank you very much


End file.
